no particular place to go

i'm living a strange and intriguing kind of existence at the moment. i'm back in melbourne, waiting for the go ahead on a couple of interesting projects. because i can't commit to a day job, or a home until they drop, i'm a bit of a gypsy - travelling from friend's couch to friend's couch, living out of a bag still, roaming the streets of melbourne a bit.

i could get all dramatic and paint an abject picture of precarity, but the reality is that it's not quite like that. i've decided to make it the adventure that it is, and it's giving me the opportunity to get to know my city in a way i never would have otherwise.

usually, melbourne is just a vehicle for my life. it's a springboard from which i dive headlong into juggling a gazillion projects and things to do. i have fond memories of the places i've been and done things in, but i rarely have time to see a new side of melbourne outside of my necessary paths.

being a bit homeless and without a particular place to be (ie, home), i just am, everywhere. i'm absolutely present wherever i take myself and, as a result, am sharply aware of my surroundings. i'm looking up a whole lot more and seeing amazing rooftops, niches, architectural detailing and plays of light that i've never noticed before.

i'm sitting in places for more than the time it takes for my friends to arrive. i'm also hearing melbourne too.

and my wonderment at melbourne is almost pride, but not so attached to it as MY city. being at home in both melbourne and berlin has allowed me the distance to see the beauty and its actual personality, rather than just an extension of my history in the place. if that makes sense. it feels less possessive, and as a result, far more beautiful. it's like i'm in love with the place properly.

i won't lie - i have had a few small moments of terror, wondering where the hell i'm going to sleep, and what the hell is going to happen in the future. but, probably because of the chillaxed nature i've come back sportin', i'm mostly okay with this nomadic and sporadic period of my life.

it also says a lot about melbourne as a city (and my friends, as it happens), that i can be without a home or a sense of stability, and still feel that i'm supported: i'm never scoffed at for eating breakfast on the street, or catching a nap in a car, or for just sitting and looking up at the sky. as busy as melbourne can be, i'm happy to say that it's also a city in which not every ounce of its being is taken up with absolute utility.

it's still a place you can just be.