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bastard facebook

for those who haven't heard me bitching about this damned social network, have i got a blogpost for you!

everybody's on facebook now. it's no news. all my friends are hassling me to join, the suit walking down liverpool st is pontificating about why facebook is better than myspace, hell, even time magazine is writing about it. and and yet i dig my heels in. why?

because it totally shits me that facebook has just gentrified online social networking and suddenly, hey, it's OK!! myspace has been around for years and while i'm not one of those 'i've been doing it for years' type folks when it comes to this crap, what shits me about it is that all the 'adults' who didn't understand myspace, took the piss out of it, or just plain avoided it, are now on damned facebook. yes, myspace is rubbish. i know that. it fucks up a lot and is full of posing teenagers. but same goes for facebook - just posing adults and slightly better designed! it's just bloody AOR for online social networks, for fucks sake! huey lewis and the news for digital civilisation.

i'm sick of hearing people going on about the great things facebook does, like it's a whole new thing. it's not a new thing! jesus christ! i've been able to blag about my upcoming shows to my friends for years. we've been able to fill in stupid surveys about what our favourite colour is and whether we like tim tams or mint slices for a while now. in fact, i blogged on myspace before i blogged on blogger! oh. my. god! you can make a profile and say what movies you like? wow!! if i hear another person say "on facebook"...

and the fucking annoying thing is, more than all of that, is that i'm now on bastard facebook because i've had enough of friends hassling me. i'm resenting it like hell, don't you worry. and if i ever go on about the great things that facebook does (apart from the twitter widget, which has ultimately tipped the balance), please, shoot me.



At 13 August, 2007 00:06, Blogger Feltbug said...

I love the image - a hint of what could be - and I really loved reading this - full of shit - now that would be a title for a show ...
LOL Ms Feltbug xx

At 13 August, 2007 01:52, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sound like people who were on Friendster when MySpace began to get popular.
And you *know* you'll be blogging about the cool shit you can do once the Firefox guys (remember, they now work for Facebook) start the sprinkle the magic dust around.

At 13 August, 2007 09:32, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is this 'myspace' thing you talk of?

At 13 August, 2007 22:11, Blogger Kim said...

I held out before parading myself on Facebook for a long time too. Mockery and sarcasm can help ease your pain.

At 13 August, 2007 23:47, Blogger lauren said...

mandy - that is the fucking coolest title!! stupid gallery. next time gadget, next time.

rodney - don't i just! ha! pity friendster sucked even more than myspace..

paul - get with the program kiddo! it's the beta version of facebook, the online equivalent of behind the shelter sheds after school, as opposed to carluccio's on a saturday night.

kim - ah, the joys of straddling the Gen X-Y divide. thankfully, i have gen x sarcasm and gen y mockery :)

At 15 August, 2007 07:23, Blogger Marcus said...

that's all well and good but facebook actually IS better than myspace. It (generally) doesn't flash at you, it doesn't have an annoying soundtrack, and it actually has features that are USEFUL

At 15 August, 2007 10:18, Blogger Will said...

Got to agree with Mr Angry.

Myspace, as I've said to you before, was designed to piss people off.

Facebook (unless you really want it to) isn't. Though it is rapidly becoming the social networking equivalent of Coldplay..

At 16 August, 2007 12:00, Blogger Age said...

"Though it is rapidly becoming the social networking equivalent of Coldplay.."

Pure genius.

And to complete this comment on your blog with a real Web2.0 vibe, I am going to sync my "publish comment" button push, with a "poke" to you on Facebook in the hope that you will see red.


At 16 August, 2007 18:18, Blogger Unknown said...

so freakin' true! and great blog! i, for one, am still avoiding facebook, but can be found at:

At 16 August, 2007 21:58, Blogger lauren said...

marcus - yeah, yeah, heard it before. my opinion still stands. and who wants to be USEFUL anyway?

will - yes, yes, we discussed this one didn't we -
although i think i used genesis as the analogy, but coldplay is much better. in fact i saw a guy in soho with a coldplay shirt on and i almost choked on my sandwich laughing, imagining what friends of ours would have to say to him.

age - thanks for that. i poked you back. big deal :)

etan - glad you liked it. i have unfortunately succumbed to facebook, but i'm strangely loyal to myspace now, which is kind of shit really. perhaps there's a conspiracy theory in there somewhere about tom and facebook that i can bulletin about on myspace... ha!

At 20 February, 2009 17:33, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the fuck are you all taling about, i could not give a shit about facebook myspace gingle gangle web meeting wimsey or moon man these social networking sites are rubbish for people who dont have decent social life.

and i have been using computers since the early 90's do something constuctive with your time.

At 20 February, 2009 21:43, Blogger lauren said...

anonymous. firstly, if you've been using computers since the 90s (ooooh), you would know that anonymous comments are the mark of cowardice and douchebags. or those who can't figure out how to use these new-fangled dialogue boxes.

secondly, define 'social life' for me - given that you've got all flame-like and hoity toity about a blog post that is 6 months old.


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