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21.6.12

berlin again begin again

oh, hai!

please forgive the live-journal-esque tone to this post. i'm actually not seeing a lot of art at the moment, hitting some kind of existential shit where i need to be mature and sort out my options, rather than go and see art. it's good to see how the rest of the world lives, every once in a while.

so i'm in berlin.

huzzah. kinda.

the catch is that i have no idea whether i'm in the right city any more, thanks to option overload, a lack of clarity on my part and a bit of a gut feeling. the plan was to come back to berlin and settle. but it's all up in the air again.

sadly i don't have much time to wallow or even ignore it. i have to find a way to make sense of what i do, why i do and where i should actually base myself because, quite frankly, i'm sick of being a nomad.

london was actually really, really great. it was mega low key and i didn't rush around like an idiot. i learned a whole lot of new things and found myself having some really great discussions with all kinds of people about quite important things: politics, the body, colonisation, working in london, the arts, fashion, study, and music.

i expected it to just be a flow-through, stop-over, catch up with peeps time. but i think i saw the city with new eyes. london seemed to actually be great. i'm not sure if it's because it was heading into more summery weather (despite the week of dreary rain), the olympics, or because london has decided to be cheery despite its tory government. or maybe it was me. i think for the first time since i was there back in 2007, i considered living there again. strange little kink in the plan isn't it?

but, because the original plan was to come to berlin, i'm here. but, because of some (possibly preventable) mistakes, i'm on an admin mission for the next week, trying to recover funds, sort out accommodation and make a decision.

last night i went to a dance, yoga, movement thing, tonight i'm going to see clayton thomas. and apart from that, for the last 24 hours, this has been my view.

i can say this - it's not what i thought i would be doing when i came to berlin. but i guess sometimes you make plans and sometimes, the strangest things uncouple them.

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