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6.1.10

2009: the year i strapped a porn soundtrack to a toilet.

MPFast

i know that we're already a week into the new year, but it would be remiss of me to not at least expand on that crazy title.

when asked to sum up the year in one word, i decided that 2009 was crazy. it was like a joyride in a fast car: 0-100 in 2.3 seconds and a hot case of whiplash to boot.

rather than table all of the highlights for you (i did that in my own soul-searching time, thanks very much), i thought i would tell you about some of the wacky things i found myself having done. what's a blog for, if not for a little self-flagellation between friends.

in 2009 i can't believe i:

strapped a porn soundtrack on a CD walkman to a public toilet

walked around newcastle with a piece of mobile architecture on my back

posed for a photo with a news ltd newspaper

stood in the same spot on a CBD intersection for 8 hours

started an argument in st kilda with a colourful local, who threatened to smash my (borrowed) camera on the same night as i was abused on chapel street for being a 'fucking carpet-muncher' by a local gay boy.

didn't move house or change jobs (nutty, huh!)

watched snow fall from the sky and made a snowball. for the first time.

developed some ridiculous crushes on the most unlikely lads

got myself locked in a lift shaft. in a white dust coat.

got myself called a slut whilst wearing said dust coat, looking like a gleaner - carrying on my back a pile of cardboard and felt twice my size.

spent my birthday in paris, dancing to burning electro.

spent my birthday that way whilst hundreds died in crazy bushfires

went to the opening night of the michael jackson movie: this is it

went to the football, the opera, the ballet and a rock gig all in the same week

dressed up as tank girl, a hot 50s madam and a ghastly concoction of all-pink nastiness for the sake of it.

received a bottle of chaos. joy!

found out that i'm gonna be an aunty

was being pelted by wind and sharp rain, in a bright yellow uniform and ugly plastic poncho as the clocks ticked over into the new year. fitting methinks.


here's to 2010 being a little less kooky.

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8 Comments:

At 07 January, 2010 01:22, Blogger Rob @ Cynic said...

That's not crazy ... that's interesting and we need more of that rather than less so here's hope you review 2010 as one that was FUCKINGCRAZY.

 
At 07 January, 2010 10:16, Anonymous lauren said...

whilst i agree that a vanilla lifestyle is pretty insipid, i have to say that i'll probably postpone FUCKINGCRAZY until 2011. because, with all that hilarious crazy stuff also comes a level of almost-unhinged that i don't think i have the energy for just yet. :D

however, i do hope your 2010 is fuckingcrazy. ;0)

 
At 07 January, 2010 10:23, Blogger charlie gower said...

More walkmans on toilets please. That's a good thing not a bad one!

 
At 07 January, 2010 10:28, Anonymous lauren said...

heh... yeah, that's a good one. most of them are pretty good, just wacky.

 
At 07 January, 2010 12:22, Blogger Rob @ Cynic said...

I'll only have one if you will.

 
At 07 January, 2010 17:52, Blogger mayhem said...

Brilliant list! totally inspiring, and the best post title EVER!!!

 
At 07 January, 2010 22:39, Anonymous lauren said...

aw shucks! thanks mayhem..

 
At 17 January, 2010 11:36, Blogger Stan Lee said...

I somehow missed this post while I was on holiday. Which makes it even more fun to have discoverd it late on a Sunday night. Great stuff Lauren. You constantly inspire me!

 

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